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The Most Important Guiding Principle is….

I thrive on rules; I’m a structured black and white kind of gal. I also thrive on breaking rules…the ones I think are ridiculous. But mostly, I like making my own rules…those are the ones that really matter.

I believe that in order to get where we want to go and be the kind of person we want to be, we need to have rules…principles that guide us. Here’s the key though…they need to be our principles…not someone else’s…otherwise they are meaningless.

Over the past few months I have started collecting these principles and writing them down (groundwork for a book I’m working on…still in the early stages.) Then it occurred to me that it would make a great series of posts. I’ll share, you’ll share, and we’ll have a veritable banquet of life principles…

So to kick off our series of discussions…my #1 guiding principle is…

Photo by cpalmieri

Simple huh! It sounds simple and basic, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to not be ourselves…or maybe you aren’t surprised if you’ve lived long enough to have witnessed a world filled with masks and pretenses and people clinging to a desperate wish to be something they’re not.

It’s not that simpleIt can be quite difficult in this modern world. But the alternative is to disrespect the real you, to dishonor your feelings, desires and values. Each time we don’t honor who we really are, we chip away a little piece of our soul, our essence, whatever you choose to call that which resides at the center of who we truly are in this world.

What does Be Yourself Mean?

It means…

Not doing things that compromise my values.

Standing up for those things that are important to me.

Doing work I’m good at.

Expressing myself freely.

Being honest…even when it’s hard.

Accepting my faults.

Celebrating my own brand of genius.


It also means…

Owning my age.

Wearing what I want to wear.

Going against the tide.

Laughing at stupid jokes

And crying whenever I want to.

It’s too much work trying to be someone else…that person others want you to be. It’s hard enough just being me. But at least I’m finally getting comfortable in this slightly worn skin.

What is your top guiding principle? 

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5 Responses to The Most Important Guiding Principle is….

  1. Oscar Gonzalez November 7, 2012 at 11:21 pm #

    Be yourself is my modus operandi. It is the ultimate honesty-driven lifestyle. You must be yourself if you want to achieve anything, for if you aren’t you’re simply lying to yourself.

    This really resonnates with me:”Not doing things that compromise my values.

    Standing up for those things that are important to me.” Except I’d change the last few words there from “important to me” to “right to do”. — That is still about “me” and being myself because only I know what is right to do, but I think that in doing the right thing, I’m more closely aligned with being myself. But again that’s just me being quirky.

  2. Wendy Cobrda November 8, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    Hmmm… my top guiding principle? Your post has me thinking about this. I think it would have to be “Get out of your own way.”

    I think we all do things to sabotage ourselves. Whether it is not digging in, or not living up to a personal commitment (to myself, that is) I deprive myself of the prize. I can’t always figure out why I drag my feet on some things — and on others, I leap in. I try my best to keep an open mind — because that is who I am. But the cynic gets in there and can wear you down from the inside if you let it.

    • Royale Scuderi November 8, 2012 at 2:22 pm #

      That is a good one! Yes, I can completely identify with that.


  3. Sinnary Sam November 8, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    This is something I’ve been trying to figure out for years. Perhaps I was one of those children who changed my career of choice every year whenever the teacher asked. I’m still trying to figure it out and sample different things along the way. My biggest guiding principle has been how I manage my work life and my children. Since the birth of my first daughter 18 years ago, I think that’s probably occupied 80% of my decisions. What if I did not have children? Would my guiding principles be different? I don’t know, but all I know is that they have changed the way I see life and there’s no going back. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the post and the reminders of what’s important.

    • Royale Scuderi November 8, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

      Thanks for sharing. It’s something for all of us to keep in mind I think:)

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