Tag Archives | pleasures

Dad’s Wisdom – Still Relevant in Life and Business

The flame of wisdom

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Wisdom

Today would have been my father’s birthday. It is on days like these when we reflect on those we have loved and lost. And perhaps wished we had listened to a bit more often. Our relationship was often complicated, but valuable, as I think are most of our relationships with our parents.

As I think back on the many things I learned, I have unearthed some pearls of wisdom to share:

  • Be responsible – Say what you mean and do what you say; if you make a promise, keep it; if you start something finish it.
  • Always do your best – Anything worth doing is worth doing right, work hard and take pride in your accomplishments.
  • You are your best judge – Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you; do what you think is right, live how you want – never mind keeping up with the Joneses.
  • Family first – Your spouse and children are always your top priority; not work (although you must provide for them), not friends or relatives. The rest of the world matters, but is a distant second to family.
  • Don’t waste time – Time is precious and too brief; work efficiently and take time for fun; talk with your loved ones, play with your grandkids, have coffee with friends, enjoy your pets and take pleasure in nature whenever possible.

Do you have an lessons you’d like to share? What did you learn from your parents that has been valuable advice?

Question everything, move forward, enjoy the journey.

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Small Rewards Can Help You Lead a Productive Life (and keep you sane)

.. I missed breakfast, bah.

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Sanity Saver

Plan a daily reward. Make sure that every single day you have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Meet with a friend, treat yourself to a delicious cup of tea (Chai is my favorite) or coffee, take a hot bath, read a book, take a hot bath or nap in the hammock – whatever is enjoyable to you.

If you work too hard all of the time you will burn out. Reward and revive yourself with something fun or relaxing. It makes getting the work done all that much more gratifying when you know you have something to look forward to.

Question everything, move forward, enjoy the journey.

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Have You Discovered Your Passion?

Some people ask. “What if I haven’t found my true passion?”

It’s dangerous to think in terms of “passion” and “purpose” because they sound like such huge overwhelming ideas. If you think love needs to look like “Romeo and Juliet”, you’ll overlook a great relationship that grows slowly. If you think you haven’t found your passion yet, you’re probably expecting it to be overwhelming.

If you find yourself glued to Photoshop, playing around for hours, dive in deeper. Maybe that’s your new calling. If you keep thinking about putting on a conference or being a Hollywood screenwriter and you find the idea terrifies but intrigues you, it’s probably a worthy endeavor for you. You grow (and thrive!) by doing what excites you and what scares you every day, not by trying to find your passion.

Instead, just notice what excites you and what scares you on a small moment-to-moment level.

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Why Are We Working So Hard Anyway?

Last week, one morning,   I was sitting on my comfy couch, snuggled up in my electric throw, sipping a cup of my favorite tea and burning one of my much-loved scented candles, when I had a startling thought. I am spoiled! Now, in all my years, I don’t think anyone would have labeled me as spoiled. I firmly believe that I am extremely low maintenance and resilient – at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Alas at that moment that simultaneously horrifying and magnificent thought occurred to me.

I admit that I have come to thoroughly enjoy the creature comforts that are available to me and why not? I could go back to a second generation, hand-me down couch, an old knit afghan and plain Lipton tea if I had to, but why should I feel guilty that over the years I have accumulated some beautiful, comfortable and good quality pleasurable items? What good does it do us to work hard and strive to better ourselves if we can’t appreciate the fruits of our labors and the wonderful gifts that flow into our lives?

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Are You Experiencing or Achieving?

We are so achievement-oriented that we often surge right by the true value of relating to what’s before us, because we think that accomplishing things will complete us, when it is experiencing life that will. ~ Mark Nepo

Ok. Who else out there is guilty of this? Uh…pretty much everyone, I think.

I know I succumb to this way of thinking quite often. Don’t get me wrong, achievements and goals are, in my opinion a necessary part of life. It’s all about keeping it in balance. The problem lies in getting so caught up in the quest to get things done and move ahead that we develop a tunnel-like vision.

The rest of life is cast off to the periphery much like the view out your window as you are driving down the highway. You might notice the scenery, the activity and the beauty, but you aren’t really a part of it. You just watch it go by instead of truly experiencing it. Life can be that way sometimes; much too easily.

As we go through our days over the coming weeks, let’s pause from time to time and make sure we are “living” and not just “doing.”

 

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Life Balance Tips from the Trenches

There is no more valuable advice than that that comes from the people who are “in the trenches” doing the job and living the life. You can read a book or listen to an expert, but the best wisdom comes from the real experts, real people who are up to their necks in the day to day reality of life.

I felt compelled to share some little nuggets from our Twitter chat (#PLchat) today on work life harmony and balance.

What does life balance look like for you?  The first step is determining what works for you, your career and your family.

Work life balance can be challenging for all. Not just moms.

Not sure what work life balance looks like – but I know it when I feel it.

In reality work life for me is somewhat integrated, but prefer as much separation as possible into “periods.”

Work life balance is very elusive concept.

Work life balance is very difficult, especially when you have so many responsibilities both at work and home.

For me work life harmony is when I only drop a few balls that I am juggling!

A supportive partner is key to any kind of work life balance!

In addition to home support, support at work is just as important.

Maybe being able to give attention to and enjoy each aspect of my life is a good definition of work life balance.

Biggest work life challenge – difficulty unplugging from work/business to focus on family.

I find my key to finding work life balance is scheduling my time on my calendar – and sticking to it.

Create a schedule. If you have an office, close the door (when working & not).

I work best when I schedule in blocks and just move the blocks around for flexibility.

To help me find work life balance I am working on recognizing each little success.

I think hardest to set work life boundaries with myself – no email during family time, exercise before email.

I let my cell go to voice mail when not at work. I can then listen and choose when to respond.

Discipline is the key – and it is something that I am continually working on.

GUILT – I think that is the key when trying to find work life balance.

I feel guilty when I’m working and guilty when home time.

I think guilt is directly tied to self-imposed expectations.

Need to set realistic goals. What is “enough” work & “enough” time with family, self – having to re-evaluate this.

Self-evaluation is the first step. You have to do what is necessary to self-satisfy.

If you start to feel overwhelmed step away.

I find if I get up earlier it helps me too – time to exercise, solitude & planning before kids wake.

I think I need a hobby. Need something just for me.

Key points:

Define what works for you

Stick to schedule

Set boundaries

Unplug

Take mental breaks

Don’t forget to take time for yourself.

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The Newest Addition

Sometimes I get lonely in my home office, so I have been thinking about getting a fish for some time now. I had to get past, pets are for kids, we already have two dogs and a hamster and it’s another responsibility. Just last month I was talking to a couple of women I know and I offhandedly mentioned that I would like to have a fish in my office to look at, talk to and help me relax. One of the women, whom I’ll call Kay, very simply said to me, “and so you should have a fish.”

I didn’t really give this conversation much thought until this week when I was once again thinking about how much I would like my “office companion fish.” I heard her words in my head “giving me permission” to have something I would like. I wondered why I would need permission, why do I hesitate to fulfill my wants? I haven’t figured out why this happens, but I do know that Kay gave me a little nudge I needed to have something I desired.

What things do you long for, but deny yourself because you “need permission?” I’m not talking about extravagant budget-breaking expenditures, I’m talking about often small things that your very soul desires, that you refuse for no real reason. I give you permission and in Kay’s simple words, “and so you should…”

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Gratefulness is the Key to a Happy Life

“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more.” — Brother David Steindl-Rast

In my office, which is my “private space” where I spend much of my time, I surround myself with reminders of all of the people and things in my life which I am grateful for. It keeps me grounded in the reality of what is important in life and helps to keep me out of the “something more” mentality. If we continue to look for happiness in something or someone else, we will never find it. Reflect this week on what you already have and ask yourself this question.

“Can I be happy with my life just the way it is right now?”

If the answer is no, then look inside yourself for the solution. You will never find it “out there.”

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Vacation Reminds Us of What’s Really Important

Vacation is a good time to reflect on what really matters in your life and how you want to spend your time on this earth.

“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” -Jim Rohn

Family

Love

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First Month: Lessons Learned

One Month Down

I can’t believe that over a month has passed since my husband left for Afghanistan. It has a been a whirlwind of late nights, restless sleep, an endless task list, chores forgotten, frequent frustration and yes, a few tears along the way. It has also been a time of tremendous personal growth, increased confidence, support from family and friends and a heightened appreciation for the beauty of my imperfect life.

Lessons Learned:

  • It is the small everyday comforts that make all the difference – my constant canine companions, my children, the aroma of morning coffee, the soothing taste of freshly brewed tea, a home that I feel comfortable in, the orchid blooming in my office, a scented candle, stirring music, flowers in bloom, wildlife outside my window and supportive family and friends.
  • I need to ask for help – support is available, but people won’t know what I need until I am willing to ask.
  • I cannot do everything – it is physically impossible with the 24 hours each day I am given to maintain my past level of responsibilities while adding in my husband’s. I have withdrawn from some volunteer activities and paired down my load.
  • I must lower my expectations – it is all right if the floor isn’t vacuumed every day, if the windows don’t get cleaned this month, if the cabinets don’t shine, if the cars don’t get washed and if the dogs didn’t get their bath. Cereal can be an acceptable dinner as long as it is high in fiber and you add fruit.
  • I need to be gentle with myself and my kids – I really need to take time to be with friends and family, but time alone is a must for me. My monthly massage is no longer a luxury and painting my toe nails is not frivolous.
  • I am capable of so much more than I believe – I have always been a fairly strong and independent woman, but I have surprised myself by stretching in so many ways already.

Stepping outside of my comfort zone when my world in turmoil is a very scary concept, but it is in that space of uncertainty where I will grow the most and where my best life resides.

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