Tag Archives | Happiness

Why We Need to Learn to Thrive Again

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Why do people always say that time heals? I’m not so sure it does…

I have been thinking lately about the nature of loss and healing that all of us must go through at some point in our lives. Sadly many times for most of us.

In my case, it is the anniversary of a central figure in my life that precipitates this introspection and gives rise to the philosopher in me.  But it doesn’t have to mean the death of someone we care about; there are many other causes of pain and loss.

I’ve found rather that time gives us the space and perspective to learn how to deal with loss in a healthier way and to be able to adjust to a new reality.

While the pain doesn’t really go away, we learn how to be happy again despite… or maybe because of… the hole that remains in our heart.

Aided by the balm of the memories that survive in and around our loss we are, (hopefully,) able to achieve a new ‘normal’ where both pain and joy can coexist peacefully within us.

I believe, at least in my experience of it, that when we can get to that place where we can accept, acknowledge, adjust and thrive once again, then I suppose we can call ourselves ‘healed.’

The hardest part may be coming to the realization that healing does not mean putting our life back to the way it was ‘before.’ Rather, it means putting our life back together again ‘after.’

Until we come to understand this, we may never truly be fully functional again. Resilience I believe holds the key to a full and satisfying life.

Surviving is not enough; thriving should be our goal if we intend to live a good life.

How do you deal with loss? Do you consider yourself resilient?

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Happiness is…Reconnecting With Childhood

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My personal ‘Joy Coach’

Funny how something simple and innocuous as a morning at the park can lead to a completely unexpected revelation. Probably should have been a Duh! But sometimes I can be slow to see and even slower to adopt…

Childhood – a good one anyway – can be full of tiny thrilling moments of uncomplicated spontaneous happiness.

(Feel free to Tweet that)

Children experience this with no thought, no coaching, no planning and usually no decision-making.

They just instinctively gravitate to those things and experiences that make them feel happy. And maybe even more importantly, they seem to throw themselves into the experience revelling in the delight and joy of  it with none of the accompanying guilt and analysis that we adults seem to be plagued with.

So, happiness may be closer than we think. Just a smidgen of childhood delight away.

Think back to those tiny delights, moments of pure unadulterated joy.

Sliding… or swinging in the park

A drippy ice cream cone…even better a red popsicle

Throwing a frisbee…dog optional

Dig out a hula hoop or pogo stick

Lying on a blanket to watch the stars…name the constellations if you can remember any

Play one of those favorite old lawn games…I always got out in kickball, was so loud everyone could hear me coming in Kick the Can, but had a mean badminton serve…

Blow bubbles…borrow a child companion if you must

 

If you can’t remember that far back just watch some children play for inspiration. Or get your own personal joy coach as I did above…

But… It seems too easy… It can’t really work…It’s just silly

Well, yeah. That’s the whole point. We’ve lost the ability to be silly, to relish the moment in an unscripted way with no agenda other than pure joy.

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A Better Career Goal: Happiness

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There are two ways of being happy– either diminish your wants or expand your means.

It’s our natural instinct to want to be happy. But remember, happiness is not merely a destination, but a path we take through the journey of life. No one else can make you happy. Only you can do that.

A famous saying…though I have no idea who said it…Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action.

Make yourself happy first, your family second.

If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.

If you want happiness for a day, go on picnic.

If you want happiness for a week, go on a vacation.

If you want happiness for month, get married.

If you want happiness for a year, inherit wealth.

If you want, happiness for lifetime learn to love what you do for living.

Feel free to substitute in whatever makes you happy, but the point is what you do for work and how happy you are doing it has a huge impact on your overall level of happiness…and health.

Notice though…that it says “learn to love what you do for a living.” you may not start out loving it or be able to choose to work at something you love, but try to learn to love what you do as much as you can.

How have you learned to love your job? Or do you hate it…

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Be Happy Rule #1- Happiness Starts At Home

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In my house we have a saying…If mama it isn’t happy, nobody’s happy.

And frankly, it’s true. If I am miserable, then I tend to make everybody around me miserable too. (Most people are this way.)

It’s in my nature to want to help, nurture, love, and take care of the people around me, but if I am not happy inside, there’s no way I have enough to give other people.

When my cup is full, when I am feeling happy and fulfilled then I have the ability or a greater ability to give and reach out to other people. Happiness is contagious and an overflowing cup spills over to those around you.

I desperately want to make other people feel loved and happy and worthy – Don’t we all? (or at least the mentally stable among us – but that has to start at home, with me.

And it has to start at home with you as well.

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8 Ingredients for Happiness

 

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You know in our search for happiness, we often make it harder than it needs to be. There are really only a few basic elements, a “Recipe for Happiness” if you will.

 

Simple ingredients for a happy life

 

A few good friends (and maybe a bad one, just to know the difference.)

A stable loving relationship.

The challenge of work that is a match to your skills and values.

Enough money to satisfy your basic needs (and some wants occasionally.)

A sense of belonging.

A healthy sense of humor.

Curiosity and the desire to share.

Gratitude for all of the above.

 

*Notice that only one of the ingredients is tangible. Something to think about…

 

Do you have any additional ingredients to add? I’m always curious how others find happiness. Feel free to add a comment or share on Facebook.

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