Why do people always say that time heals? I’m not so sure it does…
I have been thinking lately about the nature of loss and healing that all of us must go through at some point in our lives. Sadly many times for most of us.
In my case, it is the anniversary of a central figure in my life that precipitates this introspection and gives rise to the philosopher in me. But it doesn’t have to mean the death of someone we care about; there are many other causes of pain and loss.
I’ve found rather that time gives us the space and perspective to learn how to deal with loss in a healthier way and to be able to adjust to a new reality.
While the pain doesn’t really go away, we learn how to be happy again despite… or maybe because of… the hole that remains in our heart.
Aided by the balm of the memories that survive in and around our loss we are, (hopefully,) able to achieve a new ‘normal’ where both pain and joy can coexist peacefully within us.
I believe, at least in my experience of it, that when we can get to that place where we can accept, acknowledge, adjust and thrive once again, then I suppose we can call ourselves ‘healed.’
The hardest part may be coming to the realization that healing does not mean putting our life back to the way it was ‘before.’ Rather, it means putting our life back together again ‘after.’
Until we come to understand this, we may never truly be fully functional again. Resilience I believe holds the key to a full and satisfying life.
Surviving is not enough; thriving should be our goal if we intend to live a good life.
How do you deal with loss? Do you consider yourself resilient?