Tag Archives | change

When Even the Best Intentions Go Awry

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It happens to all of us I think… You think you’re doing everything right, then life slaps you down with very rude, “Ha! And you thought you were in the driver’s seat…Wrong!” It happens. It sucks. But it happens.

You suddenly find yourself on this shaky ground of “What the heck happened?” What do you do?

Well, that’s both personal and circumstance driven. Your “what to do” may be different than mine. And it’s most definitely different if you’ve lost your job than if you’ve lost a loved one, when you’re going through a divorce or dealing with a health crisis, and so on.

Retreat. Rethink. Regroup. Reframe. Revise. Renew. Revive. Start over.

I share this as sort of a roundabout way of shining a light on a dilemma we all face while explaining my rather sparse and sporadic posting and social media presence over the last month or two. Yes, happened to me too.

Long story short:

A very healthy, rarely sick, energetic “doer,” (that’s me,) finds she has disappeared and in her place is a very sick, barely functional human with some strange unexplained affliction. This is the point in life’s smack down when we finally realize, that yes, this is actually happening to us.

Fast forward a few (actually more than a few) months of tests, research, meds, medicinal herbs and various supplements and there seems to be some measure of improvement, but not truly getting better, certainly not back to fully functional.

So, doctor’s orders: Rest, rest, rest, no work, no exercise, no stress…

My response: Are you kidding me? I don’t think I know how to do that!

This was followed by much complaining, rationalizing, bargaining, resisting… The usual response when we find ourselves in circumstances we desperately don’t want to be in…

After the dirt settles we realize that we only have two choices:
Bite the bullet and do whatever needs to be done no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it is…
Or drift along in victim mode.

No choice really.

So…What do I do?

I chose Retreat, Rethink, and Renew.

Go to bed early, take naps, yoga, a bit of walking, meditate, disconnect as much as possible, radically eliminate and minimize, let many things slide, basically stop working (hence the sporadic blog posts,) and ask for help.

Is it hard? Incredibly so.

Is it working? Slowly, but yes.

What comes next? I have absolutely no idea.

We’ve all heard this before…Change or die.

Pretty much sums it up. Sometimes literally. Sometimes figuratively.

How about you…When life smacks you down, what do you do?

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On Sharing Your Genius…

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We all have a genius within us and when one of us doesn’t develop or use our special gift, a cosmic void takes place.

Originally posted on DailyOm…So spot on that I had to share…

Each of us is born with a specific genius that was bestowed upon us so we can do our part to make this world a better place. All of us have a role that we’re uniquely suited for. Imagine our planet without trees, oceans, or clouds. In this same way, when one of us doesn’t develop or use our special gift, a cosmic void takes place.

This unique talent or ability may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands. Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can overlook our own gifts. It may even be that our unique ability is something we view negatively. Perhaps we find it difficult concentrating on any one subject for long; meanwhile, others are thrilled by our ability to weave various ideas throughout our conversations.

Or, you might think of yourself as “frivolous,” when it’s likely your charming approach to life casts a light of inspiration that others can’t help but follow. It’s important for all of us to try to find our special gift and discover how we can best express it. Ask others to name what they think is your most overlooked talent or character trait. Their answers may change your life.

Explore these riches that are yours to express, and you may find yourself helping others discover and develop their own blessings. Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you. Tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block. Thank your coworker for always greeting your days together with a smile. Tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place.

Our unique gifts are like golden rays of expression that can encircle the world with light.

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A Flexible Mind = A Successful Mind = A Happy Mind

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How flexible are you? Your mind, not just your body…

The DailyOm has this great explanation of mental flexibility and it struck me how inflexible I can be at times…actually most of the time…

Flexibility is the capacity to bend without breaking, as well as a continual willingness to change or be changed in order to accommodate new circumstances. People with flexible minds are open to shifting their course when necessary or useful; they are not overly attached to things going the way they had planned. This enables them to take advantage of opportunities that a more rigid person would miss out on. It can also make life a lot more fun. When we are flexible, we allow for situations we could not have planned, and so the world continues to surprise and delight us.

I tend to have rigid plans and rather specific expectations…and I find it very difficult to accept and appreciate new possibilities when the road swerves into the unknown. I certainly could do with a bit more flexibility and I am not alone.

It’s one of those things that really can’t be practiced, instead it has to be allowed. That makes it very scary. We don’t like things we can’t control, but ultimately our clinging to inflexibility is really what is controlling us and in leaning toward flexibility we will find freedom…and a lot less stress.

What about you? How flexible are you? And do you think that’s good or bad?

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What Would You Do if You Had One Month to Live?

What would you do differently if you only had one month to live? Would you change jobs or leave relationship? Would you apologize or be more caring to others? Would you take a risk you’ve always wanted to take? Everyone’s answer will be different. The book One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life by Kerry & Chris Shook can help you answer those questions and guide you along that journey of changing the way you live your life.

From the book:

“Be brutally honest with yourself. Your time on earth is limited. Shouldn’t you start making the most of it? If you knew you had one month to live, you would look at everything from a different perspective. Many of the things you do now that seem so important would immediately become meaningless. You would have total clarity about what matters most, and you wouldn’t hesitate to be spontaneous and risk your heart. You wouldn’t wait until tomorrow to do what you need to do today. The way you lived that month would be the way you wished you had lived your whole life.

If you knew you had one month to live, your life would be radically transformed. But why do we wait until we’re diagnosed with cancer or we lose a loved one to accept this knowledge and allow it to free us? Don’t we want all that life has to offer? Don’t we want to fulfill the purpose for which we were created? Wouldn’t life be a lot more satisfying if we lived this way?

I’m challenging you to start living your life as though you have one month to live, and I’ve designed this book to help you. There are four universal principles in the one-month-to-live lifestyle: to live passionately, to love completely, to learn humbly, and to leave boldly. I’ve divided this book into four sections or “weeks” accordingly, and I encourage you to live these next thirty days as if they were your last.”

I find this book to be fascinating, thought-provoking and inspiring. Happy reading! What will you do with your one month?

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Why You Need to Look for Remedy, Not Fault

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Think about it…

If every ounce of energy human beings use in complaining was dedicated to productive change, we could solve many of the world’s problems virtually overnight.

Complaining is easy…but a complete waste. It accomplishes nothing, changes nothing, serves no purpose.

It takes thought, effort, and energy, maybe even a little courage to turn a complaint into an action, a request, or a solution. It requires that you think about what needs to be done rather than grousing about what hasn’t been done.

It requires that you step out of the cycle of “What’s wrong?” and step into “What can I do?”

There’s a bit of a ‘power exchange’ at work here. Complaining implies that you have no power; action assumes that you do.

Not only is that a lot more effective, but it feels a whole heck of a lot better too…

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