Tag Archives | change

A Flexible Mind = A Successful Mind = A Happy Mind

By on May 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

flexibility

 

How flexible are you? Your mind, not just your body…

The DailyOm has this great explanation of mental flexibility and it struck me how inflexible I can be at times…actually most of the time…

Flexibility is the capacity to bend without breaking, as well as a continual willingness to change or be changed in order to accommodate new circumstances. People with flexible minds are open to shifting their course when necessary or useful; they are not overly attached to things going the way they had planned. This enables them to take advantage of opportunities that a more rigid person would miss out on. It can also make life a lot more fun. When we are flexible, we allow for situations we could not have planned, and so the world continues to surprise and delight us.

I tend to have rigid plans and rather specific expectations…and I find it very difficult to accept and appreciate new possibilities when the road swerves into the unknown. I certainly could do with a bit more flexibility and I am not alone.

It’s one of those things that really can’t be practiced, instead it has to be allowed. That makes it very scary. We don’t like things we can’t control, but ultimately our clinging to inflexibility is really what is controlling us and in leaning toward flexibility we will find freedom…and a lot less stress.

What about you? How flexible are you? And do you think that’s good or bad?

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What Would You Do if You Had One Month to Live?

By on May 17, 2013 in Life Juice, Mind Matters

What would you do differently if you only had one month to live? Would you change jobs or leave relationship? Would you apologize or be more caring to others? Would you take a risk you’ve always wanted to take? Everyone’s answer will be different. The book One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life by Kerry & Chris Shook can help you answer those questions and guide you along that journey of changing the way you live your life.

From the book:

“Be brutally honest with yourself. Your time on earth is limited. Shouldn’t you start making the most of it? If you knew you had one month to live, you would look at everything from a different perspective. Many of the things you do now that seem so important would immediately become meaningless. You would have total clarity about what matters most, and you wouldn’t hesitate to be spontaneous and risk your heart. You wouldn’t wait until tomorrow to do what you need to do today. The way you lived that month would be the way you wished you had lived your whole life.

If you knew you had one month to live, your life would be radically transformed. But why do we wait until we’re diagnosed with cancer or we lose a loved one to accept this knowledge and allow it to free us? Don’t we want all that life has to offer? Don’t we want to fulfill the purpose for which we were created? Wouldn’t life be a lot more satisfying if we lived this way?

I’m challenging you to start living your life as though you have one month to live, and I’ve designed this book to help you. There are four universal principles in the one-month-to-live lifestyle: to live passionately, to love completely, to learn humbly, and to leave boldly. I’ve divided this book into four sections or “weeks” accordingly, and I encourage you to live these next thirty days as if they were your last.”

I find this book to be fascinating, thought-provoking and inspiring. Happy reading! What will you do with your one month?

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Why You Need to Look for Remedy, Not Fault

By on April 26, 2013 in Life Truths

fault

 

Think about it…

If every ounce of energy human beings use in complaining was dedicated to productive change, we could solve many of the world’s problems virtually overnight.

Complaining is easy…but a complete waste. It accomplishes nothing, changes nothing, serves no purpose.

It takes thought, effort, and energy, maybe even a little courage to turn a complaint into an action, a request, or a solution. It requires that you think about what needs to be done rather than grousing about what hasn’t been done.

It requires that you step out of the cycle of “What’s wrong?” and step into “What can I do?”

There’s a bit of a ‘power exchange’ at work here. Complaining implies that you have no power; action assumes that you do.

Not only is that a lot more effective, but it feels a whole heck of a lot better too…

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Favorite No-Fail Unhappiness Prescription

By on April 19, 2013 in Health & Wellness, Life Juice, Mind Matters

unhappy_face-picEver have those days? Days when you think to yourself, “How can I be so unhappy…in the middle of a happy life?”  I had one of those days this week and I know I am not alone.

The day when…

The big house you wanted with all of the room for the kids, seems too much to care for…

The spouse, children, pets (take your pick) that you love dearly, are driving you nuts…

The work you usually find fulfilling is a dreaded chore…

The activities that bring you joy (this blog included,) feel like an onerous weight…

The life you’ve created, that makes you happy, feels like a ball and chain weighing you down…

Is it stress, overload, exhaustion, maybe the weather or some kind of brain receptors misfiring? Who knows? Whatever the instigation for the temporary funk of discontent, it stinks…

The only solution I’ve found that works for me is to “get out of my life” and “get into the life around me.” Even just for a few minutes, we need to get perspective and a bit of distance from those things that in this moment seem so big, so annoying, so worrisome.

My Unhappiness Prescription: Lace up the sneakers, put the grandson in the stroller, hook the leash on the greyhound and head out the door…away, even for a few moments, away…from the momentary attack of unhappiness.

In honor of poetry month, I thought I’d try my hand at an “Unhappiness Prescription” poem…

 

One foot in front of the other

Breathe in, breathe out

Hear the birds

Smell the grass

See the clouds, the sun

The world goes on around me

Outside of my head

Life is happening

The world is alive

I am not alone

The dog is sniffing and trotting happily

The baby is squealing with delight

I turn my face to the sun

Smile

Yes, life is happening

The world is alive

Sometimes life is hard

Some days it’s downright crappy

But outside of those moments of unhappiness

Lies a good life

Sometimes it just takes a change of “scenery” to see it for what it really is

…And I am not alone

 

I am not a poet, it’s clear, but I’m feeling pretty darn proud of myself that I just wrote that…and you know what…that makes me…Happy.

Thanks for reading…

What do you do when you find yourself in an “Unhappiness funk?” 

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The Nitty-Gritty On Cementing Habits

By on April 15, 2013 in Mind Matters

 cement

Creating new habits or changing old ones is excruciatingly difficult at times, but if you’re sick and tired of “Starting Over,” Monday and falling off the wagon by Thursday you are not alone.

We are “creatures of habit,” ferociously clinging to familiar patterns no matter how poorly they serve us. It’s human nature. But if you are determined and motivated, I’ve got the quintessential tactics right here…

Give it time – Conventional wisdom says that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Be patient and stay committed until you’re over the hump.

Rinse and Repeat – Frequency and consistency are important. Do something every day until it’s embeded in your routine.

Slow and steady – Don’t change everything at once. Biting off too much is a sure recipe for failure. Cement one habit first, and then build on that. It gets easier over time.

Gentle nudges  – After the initial excitement has worn off, your commitment may wane. Give yourself nudges. Put notes where you will see them, set reminders on your phone or computer. Keep the momentum going.

Buddy up – Having a partner to motivate you and keep you on track is a huge boost to your chances of success. When you’re around people who are similarly committed, you’re more likely to stay on track.

Write it down – There is something very powerful about putting it in writing. A target seems more concrete, more real if it’s visible, in writing where you can see it. Notebook, journal, sticky note, even a marker on your mirror, wherever works.

Find a trigger – What will trigger you to remember your habit? For example, exercising every morning is the habit, placing your workout clothes and sneakers by your bed so you have to step over them might help.

Replace it – Fill the void. Replacing a bad habit with a better one is easier than cutting it altogether. Replace the cigarette with chewing gum or the afternoon candy bar with a walk or fruit or nuts.

Remove temptation – Why would you want to set yourself up for failure? Get rid of sugary snacks if sugar is your issue, don’t go to the bar if alcohol or cigarettes are your nemesis, block social media if it’s a distraction. Don’t sabotage yourself by putting temptation in your path.

Cut yourself a break – Nobody is perfect. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get right back on the wagon. Persistence pays off.

It’s got to be yours! – “Shoulds” do not lead to success. Guilt is not a good habit motivator. Create good habits that you want. You decide, you do the work, you benefit.

Developing better habits can be difficult and frustrating, but it is possible. Be smart and stick with it.

You can do it!

Any habit tactics to share?

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