So many of us live under an oppressive cloud of heavy guilt. We are plagued by regret of decisions made and actions taken, words spoken, or opportunities not explored. We feel as though we have done so many things wrong and we forget about all of the things that we have done right.

We apologize, we try to make amends wherever possible, but it’s never enough. We cannot forgive ourselves for those things we did or did not do in the past. We drag this guilt into the present and carry it with us into the future. We have held onto it for so long that it has become a part of us.

If we make mistakes, if we hurt others, if we missed an opportunity that life presented us, of course we should feel sorry. Absolutely we should apologize. Wherever possible we should make amends. Definitely, we should learn from our missteps and not repeat them. However, beating ourselves up and refusing to forgive ourselves, derails our happiness, and has harmful consequences on the decisions we make now and how we treat others.

Guilt, shame, and regret serve no purpose. A worthy conscience certainly helps us to learn from our poor choices and prevents us from repeating the same mistakes over and over again. But guilt is about punishment and self-retribution. It keeps us in a self-inflicted prison of pain. It keeps us stuck in the past and doesn’t allow us to express our greatness or experience the fullness of life.

Accept your mistakes as a step along the path to who you are today.

Let the guilt go. Release the past. Forgive yourself. Embrace your future. It’s time.

When we are talking about life success, we are talking about not only achieving goals and financial success but also a high quality life in general, meaningful relationships, good health, enjoyment and laughter a fulfilling connection to the world outside of us. We have talked about how motivation and perseverance play a role in achieving a life of satisfaction and success. If you missed those posts, I recommend you read Part 1 and Part 2 first.

But meaning is also an important factor in achieving life success; it’s possibly the most important one. There needs to be purposefulness in both your life and your work in order for us to be truly fulfilled.

What exactly do we mean by “meaning?”

For our purposes, we will define meaning as purposefulness, a driving force or perhaps even a mission. If something fulfills us, touches us in some way, or feels worthwhile. If it makes us say, “Yes, this is good and right,” then it probably has meaning to us.

When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it. - W. Clement Stone

How do we know what is meaningful to us?

It calls to us, it compels us to action, it sparks our passion, or evokes strong feelings. These things signify meaning and they will differ, sometimes drastically from person-to-person, organization to organization. It really doesn’t matter what we find meaningful, what matters is that we recognize what is meaningful to us and we tried to incorporate that into our lives. Finding meaning in what we do and how we live may truly be the most significant factor in the quality of our lives.

Types of things that may have meaning to us:

Using our talents and skills in a way that benefits the world around us. – Each of us has a special gift of some kind that brings us joy and satisfaction. We may be compelled to look for and explore these talents and gifts or we may not recognize that the skills we possess are actually very important and useful.

What is your special talent, skill, or gift that you have to offer?

Upholding our values – If something angers us or feels unjust in some way, if we feel compelled to act or speak out in some way, there is usually something happening in our lives or the world around us that is in conflict with our values. When we take action when we defend an innocent, when we take a stand or try to correct a wrong, we are expressing our values. Our values clearly have meaning to us and in many ways drive the decisions we make.

What do you believe is right? What is important? What do you value? Whom do you champion?

Growing as individuals – When we seek to improve some aspect of ourselves or to expand and stretch beyond our previous limits, that growth, that expansion has meaning to us. It may be meaningful to improve our health, to gain knowledge, to explore our creativity, to develop a deeper awareness of what’s inside us, or to cultivate a stronger connection to that which is beyond our individual selves. Expansion and growth provide a strong sense of meaning.

How do you seek to grow or expand yourself as an individual?

Growing as a society – When we are compelled to improve upon the world around us, to make our community, our world better in some way it speaks to something meaningful inside us. A desire to right a social injustice, help others preserve our world and our history or to affect in a positive way the future legacy we are leaving those who come after us is indicative of something that is fiercely meaningful to us.

What do you strongly feel needs to be changed in the world around you? Moreover, what role do you feel you can play in bringing about that change?

Knowing what has meaning to us can be a heavy and deep concept. However, finding why we do what we do, what drives us to succeed, to excel and to push ourselves beyond our limits, what calls to us, what compels us, what makes our hearts sing, or our blood boil, is the key to life success.

Life is full of transitions, both large and small. They happen whether we like it or not. Children grow up, we grow old, people, and circumstances come and go. We are buoyed and buffeted by life’s current and though it may not be the smoothest arrives, we hopefully learn something along the way.

We cannot stop time and I’m not sure if we would want to anyway. Each phase of life is special in its own way. We stretch, we grow, and sometimes we hurt. Nevertheless, the indisputable truth is that time keeps moving forward with or without our consent.

Our choice is either to dig our heels in stubbornly and stand in its wake or to jump on the roller coaster for whatever the journey brings.

I choose the ride!

How about you?