Do You Want to be Right or Happy?

Do you want to win or do you want peaceful relationships?

You may not be able to have both!

There most important question you have to ask in any argument is…

Do you want to win by proving that you are right? That also means proving that the other person is wrong…

OR

Do you want to cooperatively come to a resolution with your “argument partner”?

You can win all the arguments you want, and feel triumphant about always being right, but that doesn’t get you anything but more conflict.  Or you can give up fixating on who won and lost, because in reality, either you both win the argument or you both lose.

Define the situation objectively – What is the conflict really about and what needs to happen to come to resolution?

Clarify the contest – It’s not you against me, it’s you and I against the problem. (You can tweet that...I like to share)

This is not easy for me, because I ALWAYS WANT TO BE RIGHT. But I would rather be happy and have fulfilling relationships with my family, friends and colleagues, than to always get the “I’m Right” trophy…

So I am working on it right along with you…

How are you doing with this issue?

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5 Responses to Do You Want to be Right or Happy?

  1. Gretaboris November 14, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

    Good thoughts!

  2. sheri4l November 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

    I would like to think I would like to be happy and would like to think as I get older I would let the other person “win” but isn’t being happy really winning?

  3. Oscar Gonzalez November 24, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    It’s a noble idea indeed. Can’t agree with it 100% of the time, but generally this approach works. Sometimes two people can be right too, not just one as you mentioned.

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