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We Have a Choice to Make

By Royale on May 14, 2012 in Inspiration, Lessons, Personal Growth

Life is full of transitions, both large and small. They happen whether we like it or not. Children grow up, we grow old, people, and circumstances come and go. We are buoyed and buffeted by life’s current and though it may not be the smoothest arrives, we hopefully learn something along the way.

We cannot stop time and I’m not sure if we would want to anyway. Each phase of life is special in its own way. We stretch, we grow, and sometimes we hurt. Nevertheless, the indisputable truth is that time keeps moving forward with or without our consent.

Our choice is either to dig our heels in stubbornly and stand in its wake or to jump on the roller coaster for whatever the journey brings.

I choose the ride!

How about you?

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Knowledge for Knowledge’s Sake Is a Waste of Time

By Royale on May 9, 2012 in Lessons, Personal Growth, Work

Are you an information junkie like me?

I confess, I’m a knowledge addict. I read books, magazine articles, numerous blogs, listen to podcasts and watch videos like a sponge hoping to soak up every pearl of wisdom that might make me happier, more successful, smarter, healthier, and calmer. OK, full-disclosure, wealthier too.

We can’t help it. I think we’re programmed that way, to be constantly seeking to improve ourselves. That isn’t a bad thing, unless we become obsessed with it.

The problem

The problem as my wise husband pointed out to me in a recent conversation, is that we keep seeking and acquiring the knowledge, but rarely do we actually apply it. Instead, we keep seeking more and more, until we have a wealth of knowledge, but nothing to show for it, other than a stack of books and some conversation starters.

Better solution

Better to acquire a bit of knowledge, a few tools, and one blinding flash of insight and put our effort into applying this new understanding to improve our lives right now. There will always be time to go back to knowledge seeking later.

As my husband so eloquently put it, “Stop preparing and practicing for the game, GET IN THE GAME.” Did I mention my husband is military? He would have made a great drill sergeant, don’t you think?

Since I am the writer in the family, I’ll put it this way:

The value of knowledge is not simply in the acquiring of it, but in the application of it and the effect it has on our lives and the lives of others.

Though I suspect my husband’s version may have more impact.

Your turn

What are your thoughts on this?

Are you a knowledge junkie too? Or maybe you’re on the other end, a forge ahead type who doesn’t bother looking for new knowledge? Maybe you’re one of the elite few, who’s more evolved than the rest of us and has already perfected this system?

Care to share?

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Stop Making Excuses

By Royale on May 1, 2012 in Personal Growth

Life Question:

Why is it we keep bitching and complaining about what is wrong in our lives, instead of trying to fix it?

What keeps us stuck in that place of inaction, feeling as though we lack the power to change?

We actually have the power…if we are we willing to take control.

Your turn:

What is it you find yourself complaining about? How can you take action to start changing this thing?

Stop making excuses and do something, otherwise let it go…because it must not be that important.

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Motivation + Perseverance + Meaning = Life Success, Part 2

By Royale on April 24, 2012 in Goals, Habits, Motivation, Personal Growth, Productivity, Work

Perseverance is the second steppingstone to a higher quality life. We covered motivation in last week’s post. If you miss that post, I suggest you read Part 1 first.

What is perseverance?

Perseverance, according to the dictionary is a “steady and continued action or belief, usually over a long period and especially despite difficulties or setbacks.”

Perseverance is what keeps us from giving up, when the going gets rough. It’s what helps us get up when we’ve been knocked down. It pushes us to knock on that door, when the last 100 have slammed in our faces. It even helps us keep our focus on the goal when the path seems exceedingly boring. Most of all, it enables us to strive for the goal, even when it doesn’t seem within our reach.

Most of the important things we hope to accomplish in life will require at least a small dose of perseverance. The really important things, a huge dose.

“The more we must persevere, the greater the accomplishment.”

Real-life examples of perseverance

Building a successful business or career
Ahieving a weight goal
Running a marathon
Completing your education
Having a long-lasting, satisfying marriage
Parenting through the teen years (enough said)

Perseverance can be learned

Perseverance is a trait, a behavior, a skill that can be learned like any other skill. It’s a muscle. It takes time and effort. But it does get easier with practice. We practice perseverance by being a completionist. By setting smaller goals as well as large ones. By pushing ourselves, a little further beyond the point to which we think we cannot pass. A little bit more each time

Perseverance strategies:

1. Follow through on promises, to others as well as yourself.

2. Set small goals that are just a bit beyond your comfort zone. Repeat.

3. Envision achieving success in your endeavor when your hard work will finally pay off.

4. Use affirmations or motivational strategies to get in the proper mindset.

5. Finish everything you start! (Barring major catastrophes)

6. Tie up loose ends. Everything you leave undone is a constant reminder of your failure to successfully complete a project.

7. Get an accountability partner that you can count on to push you.

8. Celebrate! You are building your perseverance muscle.

All of these strategies help to build confidence in your ability to persevere when faced with obstacles. Building your perseverance skill, it’s all about believing that you can do it. Once you have done it, you know you can do it again. And over and over and over…

We know you can do it. We have faith in you. Now you just have to convince yourself.

Your turn

Where do you most need or want to persevere in your life?

Choose at least one strategy and get to it. Care to share?

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Motivation + Perseverance + Meaning = Life Success, Part 1

By Royale on April 19, 2012 in Health, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth

Motivation is one of the stepping-stones, to a higher quality life. When you decide what you want to do this day, this week, this year, this life, you must be motivated or you will not get where you want to go.

We’ll talk about perseverance and meaning in later posts, part 2 and part 3, but for now let’s talk about motivation.

What is it that motivates you?

Motivation needs to be personal, specific, and compelling.

Personal

My motivation is not yours. Good thing, because it wouldn’t work for you anyway. For a motivator to work, it must be truly your own.

Don’t let others determine what your motivation “should be,” or worse, push their own motivations on you. That just doesn’t work. We’ve seen it time and time again.

Specific

Generic motivations are generally not solid enough either. Wanting world peace, to feed the hungry, make more money, have a happier marriage, or be healthy are all lofty motivations, but they’re not specific enough.

To be successful motivation needs to be specific. The more specific the better. I want to avoid another heart attack or I can’t stand this stinking job and I need to get out of here, are much more solid and specific.

Compelling

Is your motivation important enough, strong enough, or compelling enough, to motivate you to successfully achieve what you want? Weak, ambiguous motivators aren’t going to cut it.

If you look again at the specific motivations mentioned above, they are also probably important enough and compelling enough to keep you moving in the right direction. Avoiding a heart attack, or leaving a job that is causing you a tremendous amount of stress, are very strong motivators.

Let me give you a quick example, from my own life:

I go out for my morning run. I have good intentions. I usually have a specific goal in mind. But good intentions only go so far. If I don’t keep my motivation in front of me, I often fall short.

Think motivation. Keep it in front of me. Get results I want.

In my case, the motivation is more about improving my strength, endurance and energy in the immediate future. The quality of my long-term health and longevity are affected as well, but they are not compelling enough by themselves.

In addition, I have a very real and compelling desire to make the most of opportunities that others do not have. I feel almost a personal duty to move, because I have the ability to do so. This odd rationalization works for me.

I have legs, and I will darn well use them. I have health, and I will darn well guard it. I have the opportunity and the ability to run, and I will darn well grab it.

For me this is personal enough, specific enough, and important enough to get out there, and keep going.

Your turn

Think of a personal or work situation in your own life where you are not getting results.

What is your motivation?

Ask if that motivation meets these three requirements.

Is it personal, specific, and compelling?

Spin it around, tweak it and turn it on its head until you own it, it’s real, and it pulls at you.

How can you make motivation work for you?

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Have Your Best Day in 4 Steps

By Royale on April 17, 2012 in Health, Personal Growth

Step back for a moment from those ever-present goals, resolutions, and glorious new habits we’re bent on creating. Knowing where you want to go and what you want to do is only half the battle. Knowing how you will best use each day, will shape the rest of your life.

Try asking yourself these questions at the start of each day:

What thought will I begin the day with?

What happens in the first 10 minutes of our day, to great extent determines how the rest will follow. We have two choices; we can either take a few brief moments before we rise, to choose the thought or intention, which will guide our day. Or, we can jump out of bed and hit the ground running, rushing blindly through the rest of our day.

Which sounds nicer?

If your first thought upon waking is, “O Lord, not another day!” Or, “I hate my job, I hate my body, life sucks. Here we go again…” Try a new one. How would you like your day to be? What would you like to do today? Not tasks, think bigger picture.

“Today I will focus on actions, which align with my business goals.”

“I am shaping the minds of tomorrow.”

“Today, I will lead with kindness.”

“I am making healthy choices that will shape the quality of my future life.”

Whatever your thought is, make it a good one. Make it a positive one. Make it a truthful one.

What do I want to do today, that will improve my life, or the lives of others?

Is it a phone call? Is it an overdue task, which has been hanging over your head? Is it a bold action that you have been putting off, hoping that the courage will come?

Maybe it’s as simple as do the laundry or get groceries. Maybe it’s finish that proposal or that project. Maybe it’s work on writing that chapter. Maybe it’s ask for help. Maybe it’s look for new job or revise your resume. Maybe it’s pay the bills or balance your checkbook. Maybe it’s even volunteer to help someone else.

Sift through your list of intended goals, behavior changes, or items to achieve or complete. See if there is anything that you can do to make progress towards any of those objectives.

Highlight this action, and put it at the top of your list.

What qualities or behaviors do I need to call on today?

Even when we know what we want to do, and how we want to be, often our attitudes and behaviors undermine us. Look at how you’d like your day to be. What qualities do you need to demonstrate to make that day a reality?

Courage – I need to be brave and bold in my actions. My day will not be driven or derailed by my fears.
Patience – I need to be patient with others and myself. Things do not always happen on my timetable and people do not always move at my pace. That does not mean that the results I want will not come.
Positivity – I need to stay positive, and optimistic whenever possible. Criticism and complaining will get me nowhere. They only serve to keep me stuck in my own negativity and will not help me achieve my goals in any way.
Perseverance – I need to stay on course, and keep going, even when I no longer want to. When work or life become tedious, boring, or difficult, I need to keep pushing myself to finish what I have started.

The behaviors are qualities that you need to call on will be different from mine, and they will very likely change from day to day, according to where you are in your life and what you want to get done. The important thing is knowing which ones will best serve you in this day.

How will I determine if my day has been successful?

It’s extremely important to define what would make today successful or “good enough.” Be reasonable and realistic in your expectations. Most days, “good enough,” will be… well… good enough.

Consider both measurable and qualitative results. Clean the house, finish the project that’s due today, or make 20 sales calls, are clearly measurable. While laugh with my children, enjoy the company of others, or do the highest quality work possible are more qualitative, and therefore subjective.

The good news is, you are the only one who gets to decide.

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The Most Important Skill in Life is…

By Royale on April 2, 2012 in Personal Growth, Questions

What do you think is the most important skill to succeed in life?

There may be many different answers. And there should be.

My answer: Reading.

I am an avid, no, voracious, no, obsessive reader. I always have been. As a child, I always had a book on my nightstand, often volumes far beyond my years. Now, it’s not unusual to have five or six on my nightstand, and probably another 8-10 on various coffee/end tables spread throughout the house.

That’s in addition to the collection on my bookshelves. It’s as if I’m fearful that I might be caught with a few moments to spare and no book to read. Moreover, it’s my normal practice to read two or three of them concurrently.

It’s the truth. I confess I’m an addict. Addicted to reading that is…

In this case, my ability to read well and quickly has served me well. It has allowed me to become knowledgeable and well versed in a broad range of topics. It keeps me interested and curious about the world around me.

Reading has also expanded my vocabulary and improved my communication skills. Being able to read, understand, and internalize information and ideas has helped me to succeed in the world. Perhaps, most importantly, it’s a skill that I can continue to use and improve upon for the rest of my life.

Moreover, I’ll enjoy using it…

Your turn…Thoughts?

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How to Stay Productive and Focused

By Royale on March 28, 2012 in Goals, Inspiration, Life Balance, Motivation, Personal Growth, Productivity

I was recently cleaning out old files and documents on my computer. I came across the transcript of an interview I was asked to give about a year ago or so, on how I stay productive, maintain my focus and enjoy life.

As I was reading through, I had to ask myself if the answers are still true and more importantly if I’m living by them. Yes and no. The answers are still true. Definitely. But I don’t consistently translate them into daily actions, and when I don’t my productivity, my connection and my happiness in life falter.

It was an important reminder to me. And I hope that by sharing, you will ask yourself the same questions and that your answers might make your path to life fulfillment and successes clearer.

Questions:

How do you stay productive?

I think the key to living a productive life and making productivity a consistent practice is in having clearly defined goals or outcomes, knowing what actions you need to take to accomplish what you desire, then making it a habit to follow through to completion on tasks and projects. Then you need to make sure you have some balance in your life. There has to be some fun on the flip side.

Where do you find motivation on a daily basis?

I am motivated by a burning desire to connect with others and to share any wisdom or insights I may have that might help them in some way. I see an epidemic of busyness both in the work place and at home. People are frustrated and overwhelmed in their lives and careers. We’re working harder, enjoying life less and spinning our wheels much of the time.

It doesn’t have to be that way! I think life is a journey of growth and we are meant to continuously evolve. I think we design our lives by the actions and choices we make each day and I truly believe that if I can help others make wiser choices and take better actions then I’m doing something worthwhile with my life.

How long have you been doing what you do?

I have been blogging for about two years. I actually started out with a completely different blog and focus, but gradually evolved both my personal (GuardWife.com) and professional (ProductiveLifeConcepts.com) blogs until they were a more comfortable fit for me.

What inspires you?

I am constantly inspired by the world around me. I read incessantly…I always have. I find people interesting and am fascinated by what makes them tick and why they behave the way, they do. I also have a genuine love of nature. The simple beauty of flowers, trees, animals, even the weather provides me with endless inspiration and ideas. I try to get out into nature every day. It calms and centers me, which allows me to be more creative as well.

How did you develop a talent for writing?

I’m not sure honestly. I have always been good at writing, especially on non-fiction topics, but never pursued it professionally until I decided to get into blogging. My writing has definitely improved with practice. After writing hundreds of blog posts and writing my first book, I have gotten much more efficient and clearer with my writing, both during the writing process and in the end result.

Once I discovered my personal writing style, which happens to be very conversational in nature, I found that my writing flourished. I write as I speak, as if I’m having a conversation with a colleague or friend, share a bit of myself, break a few rules, and have fun.

Your Turn

You’ll obviously want to substitute whatever you do and what your talent is for mine, but the questions are still relevant, and I hope useful.

I’d love to know your answers if you’re willing to share. By sharing something of ourselves, we inspire others.

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Change or Die

By Royale on March 23, 2012 in Creativity, Habits, Happiness, Personal Growth, Questions

Change is constant; you can either embrace it and move forward or resist it and get run over.

Do you fear change? A little uncertain?

The usual conversation in our head goes something like this:

“Well maybe it would be good, but what if it doesn’t work out. Things aren’t going that well, but at least I know what to expect. I’ve been doing, thinking, and acting this way for so long, I don’t know how to be different. People won’t like me if I change. It’s not worth the hassle. I’m not sure I can change anyway.”

We need to recognize that’s only our fear talking. We have been conditioned from birth to conform. We are creatures of habit. We live what we learn. We are mistrustful of new ideas. New ways of doing things seem uncomfortable.

Question that thinking.

It’s a knee jerk response. Look at the broader reality of history. The only way we grow both as individuals and as a society is through change. All of our pioneering inventions that improved our lives, our innovative solutions that solved major world problems, involved massive change. Changes in our technology, changes in our practices, and most of all changes in our mindset.

We would have no iPad, no apps; we might not even have the internet. Horror!

We’d still be sending messages via telegraph instead mobile phones that allow us to call and text from almost anywhere instantaneously.

We’d still have to get up to turn the channel on the television, instead of using a remote that can operate all of our electronics in one handy little device (OK, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.) Worse yet, we might not even have televisions.

We’d still be using leeches instead of antibiotics. And dying from common viruses with no childhood immunizations.

We’d still be using iceboxes, waiting weeks for our mail to be delivered via Pony, pumping our water at the well. I won’t even mention going out back in the middle of the night. (OK, I mentioned it.) Shutter the thought!

Good grief, we might still think the world was flat and never get to visit Hawaii or Tahiti or Bali (or wherever we’d like to go.)

You get the idea. We cannot grow, advance, improve our lives, and change the world or our individual circumstances, without being willing to change. We would be confined to the life that we were born into, repeating the same behaviors over and over again, no hope for advancement, and a better life.

What do we have to fear? Success. Happiness. New friends and colleagues. Expanding our horizons. Learning new skills.

Those things don’t sound so bad, do they?

What do we have to lose? The comfort of routine. The familiar. The approval of those around us who are fearful of change. Pride if we make a mistake.

Those things don’t actually serve us, do they? Well maybe the pride, but usually it’s misplaced anyway…

Change. Be bold. Be daring. Be hopeful. Be creative. Be alive.

The ball is in your court.

It’s your turn. What do you think?

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4 Strategies to Overcome Any Obstacle

By Royale on March 19, 2012 in Goals, Habits, Health, Personal Growth

There are few among us, who don’t have dreams, desires, projects or goals that we haven’t been able to achieve. Or perhaps it’s a nasty habit we want to break. Often we haven’t even been able to take the first step.

I Want….

For some it’s career goals; start your own business, change or advance your career, or continue your education. For others, it may be a health goal: quit smoking, lose weight, or exercise more. So many seem to struggle with disorganization and clutter (if you have piles, you know who you are.) Financial goals can be especially difficult, as can habits of procrastination and lackluster productivity.

The good news is, we can be successful in any area. The bad news is, we do have to put in some work. Simply deciding what we want or making the decision to change a behavior is not enough.

We first need to understand, that it makes no difference what we’re trying to achieve, the process, preparation and strategy is the same. The most important step is the first; START. Just take that first step, it the most difficult. As with anything, it gets easier as you gain momentum.

Overcome Obstacles

1. Be aware of barriers – Examine past failures. It’s important to gain an understanding of what has stopped you from getting what you want or making positive changes in the past. Look back at personal failures (failure is not a dirty word, just an opportunity to learn,) as well as professional aspirations where you just couldn’t quite hit the mark.

What got in the way? Why did you stop trying?

If you want a different outcome this time, you have to eliminate the obstacles, the barriers to success.

2. Examine patterns of behavior – We are creatures of habit, easily slipping back into behaviors we have learned and practiced in the past. Unfortunately, many of these behaviors are not helpful. In fact, they may be the biggest reason we are unable to change.

Do you have a certain pattern of behavior that keeps popping up and getting in the way of your goal? Do you self-sabotage, or make excuses? Do you keep so much on your plate that there is no energy left for something new? Do you tend to give up or refuse to ask for help?

All of these are common disruptive behaviors that stand in the way of change. As the famous saying goes, we are our own worst enemy.

3. Watch out for triggers – What situations are most likely to cause a relapse? Do you slip into unhealthy habits around particular people? Are certain surroundings more difficult than others are?

If you want to quit smoking, don’t take breaks with other smokers.

Trying to lose weight; minimize eating out, especially buffets.

Is the mall a temptation to spend money? Stay away or leave credit cards at home.

4. Plan ahead – The secret is to determine what has prevented you from succeeding in the past and to plan for a different outcome. Develop a strategy to overcome obstacles before they happen. Put a strategy in place before a problem arises. That’s much more effective than trying to use willpower at the time.

If you struggle to exercise with regularity in the morning, put your clothes out the night before.

Always wanted to start a business, but just couldn’t get started? Find a mentor to walk you through, to help identify pitfalls and suggest strategies that work.

Has procrastination become a habit? Or spending too much time on Facebook? Set a timer.